Scott wants to start a Doctor Who themed emo band. He even has the perfect name for the band.

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Fun factoid: lemon, when combined with cream, curdles instantly!

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I think I saw this on Power Rangers once when I was a kid. Or maybe I'm thinking of something else...

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Hmm.

A good, hearty 'hmm' is the best I can really muster at this point. Starting with last year's 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies', there seems to be an ongoing trend for lazy writers to use a very specific formula to make money. Since we're all friends here, I'll dispense this formula now:

Yes, uncreative, stupid writers! I have your number! By simply following this formula, you've given yourself a license to print money. Hackneyed, awful money.

So in the interest of money, I've decided that RIGHT NOW, I'm making a list of future properties. Here, on this day, March 8th, 2010, I claim that the following ideas are mine, and mine alone, and that I will sue the unoriginal, hackneyed author who uses this formula to produce any ideas similar to this.

Austin's Hot Idea List:

• Ghandi vs. The Werewolf -- When a werewolf stalks the Indian planes, it's up to one man to stop the slaughter and peacefully resist the British.
• Tom Sawyer vs. Jason -- American icon versus American icon; when young Tom Sawyer goes away to sleep-over camp at Crystal Lake, he has no idea what horrors are in store for him and his fellow campers...
• Shakespeare and the Witches -- What if all the Shakespeare stories involving witches turned out to be REA-- oh wait, I think someone already did this.
• Agatha Christie vs. the Space Was-- dangit!
• Oscar Wilde and His New Best Friend Frankenstein -- The delightful witticist, and the slow, green monsters. It's a buddy comedy for the ages!
• Helen Keller and The Invisible Man -- It's a love affair for the ages!

Seriously, though, you're all hacks. Come up with something original. That said, I'd totally read those last two.

[UPDATE: I'm being told the Oscar Wilde/Frankenstein comedy, tentatively titled 'Frankenstein Gone Wilde', is far better than it deserves to be. Tyler said he might draw the cover for the book, in which case I'll write a sample chapter.]

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So I can't even get a regular date, and...

(CNN) -- Before he was a convicted serial killer, Rodney Alcala was a winning bachelor on "The Dating Game."

"Oh yeah, I remember it quite clearly," said Jed Mills, the game-show contestant who sat next to Alcala in 1978. "He was creepy. Definitely creepy."

Found guilty in February of murdering four women and a child, Alcala, 66, is acting as his own attorney in the penalty phase of the trial. He is hoping to persuade the jury in Santa Ana, California, to spare his life.

[CNN] Convicted Serial Killer Won On 'Dating Game'

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It's really no secret that over the last couple weeks, my update schedule has dropped to virtually nothing. I initially started out by writing up a comprehensive defense of why I was so dang lazy, and why it wasn't my fault, but then I realized it was a Monday, and I could just write a typical Monday Morning Round-Up about it. The following Monday Morning Round-Up is going to be completely boring, so please, don't get excited thinking I'm going to say something profound. I'm not.

Also, my stomach hurts, and I'm tired, so I'm not feeling creative. Ah, to be young.

• So life has been hectic the last couple weeks. I mean, everybody's life is hectic, but the last couple weeks have felt especially so for mine. I'm still nursing the same illness I've had for almost a month (I think it just keep rebreeding and coming back to me), and work has been some of the toughest two weeks I've ever worked at the office.
• Normally I'd update while I was eating lunch at work, or something. Nope. In conjunction with the above point, I've been eating at my desk while working. No rest for the wicked, especially the wicked who have credit card bills and stuff.
• I am often asked why I'm living at home. The answers are many, but it comes down to two easy ones: first, my family needs the assistance, and second, it means I have plenty of spending money on awesome stuff. My justification is this: there will never be another time in my life where I have enough disposable income to buy awesome stuff. If I were out on my own, I'd be paying much more than I am living here. This means I can do cool stuff while I still can. It's a win-win really!
• It also means my dream bass is a paycheck or so away. More on that some other time.
• There's really been a drought in good internet lately, yeah? I mean, I usually just post little snippets from the net, but it seems like we've been on a cold streak. I have a few links saved up just in case, but really, what's up, internet? Let's get back to the status quo -- stupid stuff I can share with family and friends.
• Had brunch with Spencer, Marque, Sam and Joey. It was really cool! Also, the French Toast was delicious and the bacon was delightfully crispy. We then went to Spencer and Marque's house, which is really cool.
• I turned on my cell phone for the first time since Saturday night, and it looks like I have 28 new text messages and three regular voice mails. Ugh.
• My phone is so broken. SO BROKEN. It turns itself off randomly, and displays weird things so you have to take the battery out... I really need to get a new one, but I hate cell phones, so I have no motivation?

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The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

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Sometimes I view something that radically alters my life path. This is one of those things. I will never make anything, ANYTHING as good as 'Birdemic'.

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