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TV Break-Up -- 'Profiler'
Posted by Austin Hudson
on
10:49 AM
in
TV Break-Up
Even now, typing at a computer and facing a wall, I can see a stack of DVDs without turning my head. TV (especially TV on DVD) is one of the few things I actively collect and enjoy, and one of my pleasures in life. I love TV shows, but I sometimes have a hard time making the commitment to watch at certain hours of certain days of the week. Instead, I wait for the DVD release, buy and binge. It's fantastic in that I can watch as many episodes as I'd like of something and, on cliffhangers, don't need to worry about waiting a week (or even months) to find out what happens. Usually I'll buy shows I know I enjoy, get the complete series and then binge from there. Sometimes they're quality shows and sometimes they're my guilty pleasures, but it's always been fun.
Unfortunately, this has backfired on me.
Let me tell you about 'Profiler'.
'Profiler' debuted in 1996 on NBC as part of the SATURDAY NIGHT THRILLOGY. See, the Saturday Night Thrillogy was three science-fiction/fantasy/crime shows broadcast on Saturday night in hopes that gigantic geeks would forfeit their weekends to sit home and watch a three hour block of TV. I was ten years old at the time, and I never missed a week.
The first show in the 'thrillogy', 'Dark Skies', was basically X-Files Lite and didn't do very well. The other two shows, 'Profiler' and 'The Pretender', did extremely well and got several seasons.
Now, I've already watched all of 'The Pretender', and it's as majestic and wonderful as I remembered. A TV show in which a childish man uses his super-intellect to bluff his way into exciting and dangerous careers to rescue people? I could get behind that, and I still can. 'The Pretender' had an overarching story that made sense... well, about as much sense as possible given the main character's origin (which is far too complicated to relay here).
My problem is, I remembered 'Profiler' to be pretty much the same. Sure, the characters and plots were wildly different, but I remembered it to be the same campy fun that I watched as a kid.
See, 'Profiler' was the story of Dr. Samantha Waters, a criminal psychologist who helps the FBI's Violent Crimes Task Force solve murders by gaining insight into the mind of the criminal. This was well before anything like 'CSI' or 'Criminal Minds'; matter of fact, do you know that TV trick where they flash to something dramatic or scary, and then jump back as a character gets an idea from 'seeing into the mind' of someone? 'Profiler' pioneered that. 'Profiler' pioneered a lot of things in that regard.
On paper, absolutely everything sounds great. The show got four seasons, the ratings were fantastic and there was so much buzz that 'Profiler' even crossed over into 'The Pretender' for a couple episodes and scored NBC insane ratings for the Saturday night slot.
Unfortunately, in practice, the show wasn't that great.
I'm now on the third of four seasons, and I've gotten to where I struggle to watch episodes of the show. It's not that the plot's gotten significantly worse (although, upon reflection, I guess it has). It's not that the acting has become wooden and predictable. It feels like the show just isn't trying anymore.
History sides with me on this. After the third season, the star of the show (a perpetually glassy-eyed Ally Walker who managed to be positively awful as Dr. Waters without tanking the show) quit and was replaced with a different actress. The show's main story arc (Dr. Waters being stalked by a psychotic serial killer) ended as well, and the show had nothing to stand on as it slouched towards its inevitable death. But season three is where it all went wrong, where I'm stuck, and why I'm considering breaking up with 'Profiler'.
This isn't a decision I take lightly. I've never once, not once, quit a TV show I own mid-series. Even shows that became intolerably awful towards their final seasons. I found a reason to 'make it work' and kept going for my own sanity. Except 'Profiler'... it's really pushing me.
Case in point: the show's never been particularly good with it's own internal logic. Things that happen one week are sometimes carried into the next one; characters with firm beliefs often reverse them as the plot dictates. For instance, the main character has a young daughter. Since Dr. Waters and her daughter are being stalked by a serial killer (as mentioned above), they move from safe-house to safe-house, forgoing a normal life in exchange for their safety from a murderer.
Except that Dr. Waters' daughter has seen the murderer and knows what he looks like. They could have a description of the serial killer, something NOBODY HAS BEEN ABLE TO PROVIDE THEM, but Dr. Waters won't ask her daughter. Because "it would be too traumatic". More traumatic than being STALKED BY A SERIAL KILLER AND LOSING YOUR CHILDHOOD AS YOU MOVE FROM SAFE-HOUSE TO SAFE-HOUSE? They could take a gigantic step in stopping the murderer, but the venerable psychologist Dr. Waters thinks it's better if they don't push it.
Really?
Or that very recently in the show, they actually caught the serial killer and have him locked up now! Yay, they can have a normal life again! Except that it's very clearly not the serial killer. The man they arrested (and who admitted to doing it) doesn't look like, speak like or act like the actual serial killer that we as the audience (and to some extent them as characters) have seen for the past two seasons. It's incredibly, PAINFULLY obvious it's not the right guy, but everyone's blind to that. Forget that they've hunted the guy for seven years. This guy confessed, so he MUST be the killer!
These are just two of many. We're not even talking about the poorly written characters (including Dr. Waters' best friend, Angel Brown, who was set up from the first episode to be the least likable person on the planet). The show's actually insulting it's viewers, and I don't know that I can continue to watch that.
But then, the crippling shame! Quitting a show!
I'm torn. I don't know what to do. I know I should man up, stop watching and get over it, but the completest in me won't let me.
Maybe I can get someone to borrow the series from me, and then I can give it out and not have to worry about it. Man... breaking up is hard to do.
|
Unfortunately, this has backfired on me.
Let me tell you about 'Profiler'.
'Profiler' debuted in 1996 on NBC as part of the SATURDAY NIGHT THRILLOGY. See, the Saturday Night Thrillogy was three science-fiction/fantasy/crime shows broadcast on Saturday night in hopes that gigantic geeks would forfeit their weekends to sit home and watch a three hour block of TV. I was ten years old at the time, and I never missed a week.
The first show in the 'thrillogy', 'Dark Skies', was basically X-Files Lite and didn't do very well. The other two shows, 'Profiler' and 'The Pretender', did extremely well and got several seasons.
Now, I've already watched all of 'The Pretender', and it's as majestic and wonderful as I remembered. A TV show in which a childish man uses his super-intellect to bluff his way into exciting and dangerous careers to rescue people? I could get behind that, and I still can. 'The Pretender' had an overarching story that made sense... well, about as much sense as possible given the main character's origin (which is far too complicated to relay here).
My problem is, I remembered 'Profiler' to be pretty much the same. Sure, the characters and plots were wildly different, but I remembered it to be the same campy fun that I watched as a kid.
See, 'Profiler' was the story of Dr. Samantha Waters, a criminal psychologist who helps the FBI's Violent Crimes Task Force solve murders by gaining insight into the mind of the criminal. This was well before anything like 'CSI' or 'Criminal Minds'; matter of fact, do you know that TV trick where they flash to something dramatic or scary, and then jump back as a character gets an idea from 'seeing into the mind' of someone? 'Profiler' pioneered that. 'Profiler' pioneered a lot of things in that regard.
On paper, absolutely everything sounds great. The show got four seasons, the ratings were fantastic and there was so much buzz that 'Profiler' even crossed over into 'The Pretender' for a couple episodes and scored NBC insane ratings for the Saturday night slot.
Unfortunately, in practice, the show wasn't that great.
I'm now on the third of four seasons, and I've gotten to where I struggle to watch episodes of the show. It's not that the plot's gotten significantly worse (although, upon reflection, I guess it has). It's not that the acting has become wooden and predictable. It feels like the show just isn't trying anymore.
History sides with me on this. After the third season, the star of the show (a perpetually glassy-eyed Ally Walker who managed to be positively awful as Dr. Waters without tanking the show) quit and was replaced with a different actress. The show's main story arc (Dr. Waters being stalked by a psychotic serial killer) ended as well, and the show had nothing to stand on as it slouched towards its inevitable death. But season three is where it all went wrong, where I'm stuck, and why I'm considering breaking up with 'Profiler'.
This isn't a decision I take lightly. I've never once, not once, quit a TV show I own mid-series. Even shows that became intolerably awful towards their final seasons. I found a reason to 'make it work' and kept going for my own sanity. Except 'Profiler'... it's really pushing me.
Case in point: the show's never been particularly good with it's own internal logic. Things that happen one week are sometimes carried into the next one; characters with firm beliefs often reverse them as the plot dictates. For instance, the main character has a young daughter. Since Dr. Waters and her daughter are being stalked by a serial killer (as mentioned above), they move from safe-house to safe-house, forgoing a normal life in exchange for their safety from a murderer.
Except that Dr. Waters' daughter has seen the murderer and knows what he looks like. They could have a description of the serial killer, something NOBODY HAS BEEN ABLE TO PROVIDE THEM, but Dr. Waters won't ask her daughter. Because "it would be too traumatic". More traumatic than being STALKED BY A SERIAL KILLER AND LOSING YOUR CHILDHOOD AS YOU MOVE FROM SAFE-HOUSE TO SAFE-HOUSE? They could take a gigantic step in stopping the murderer, but the venerable psychologist Dr. Waters thinks it's better if they don't push it.
Really?
Or that very recently in the show, they actually caught the serial killer and have him locked up now! Yay, they can have a normal life again! Except that it's very clearly not the serial killer. The man they arrested (and who admitted to doing it) doesn't look like, speak like or act like the actual serial killer that we as the audience (and to some extent them as characters) have seen for the past two seasons. It's incredibly, PAINFULLY obvious it's not the right guy, but everyone's blind to that. Forget that they've hunted the guy for seven years. This guy confessed, so he MUST be the killer!
These are just two of many. We're not even talking about the poorly written characters (including Dr. Waters' best friend, Angel Brown, who was set up from the first episode to be the least likable person on the planet). The show's actually insulting it's viewers, and I don't know that I can continue to watch that.
But then, the crippling shame! Quitting a show!
I'm torn. I don't know what to do. I know I should man up, stop watching and get over it, but the completest in me won't let me.
Maybe I can get someone to borrow the series from me, and then I can give it out and not have to worry about it. Man... breaking up is hard to do.
|
