In a news story best describe as 'Oh, you liar', it looks like there's a cartel of Peruvian gangsters abducting lonely fat people and murdering them for their rich, creamy chub. Then then turn around and sell this to European cosmetic companies. 'Fight Club' much?

Four people have been arrested in Peru on suspicion of killing dozens of people in order to sell their fat and tissue for cosmetic uses in Europe.

The gang allegedly targeted people on remote roads, luring them with fake job offers before killing them and extracting their fat.

The liquidised product fetched $15,000 (£9,000) a litre and police suspect it was sold on to companies in Europe.

Now, let me preface this by saying -- I don't know anything about liposuction. I spent some time interning at a hospital, and I spent some time as a CNA in an old folks home, but I've never worked with elective cosmetic surgery. That said, isn't this an unbelievable business plan?! Not the murdering part, of course, but couldn't you give someone free liposuction, and in turn use their medical waste to make the cosmetics? I mean, I'm sure there's nothing they can do on the lonely roads that we can't do in an operating room. Take some grossly overweight people, give them a chance to look thinner, and then sell the fat that you suction! I'm sure there may have to be some refining process or something, but maybe not! Can you not see what an amazing business venture this is?

Look, guys, American ingenuity is on the line here. We've got the smarts. We've got the skills. We've got the morbid obesity. Let's make it happen!

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