And continuing the strange Whedonesque circle of life, now Allison Hannigan and Alexis Denisof have had their baby.

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I don't know how I missed this news story. Just thinking about Andy as Lorne always made me smile.

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So I'd like to talk to you about the worst comic book character currently in publication.

No, it's not Squirrel Girl or any of the other GLI folks. It's not even Fasaud, who inexplicably popped up relatively recently in Union Jack #2.

It's this guy.



What was that? That was the sound of a million nerds gasping. Hating Wolverine is heresy, a veritable thought-crime against Marvel herself. Even as we speak, hundreds of sweaty guys are taking their replica display Wolverine claws off the wall and tearing furtively at their wolf tee-shirts.

Hate Wolverine? How could you! Well, easier than you'd think. Let me put it this way: Wolverine makes Superman look like an engrossing character.

Uh oh, now I've dragged Superman into this. Big Blue can have a free pass, for reasons best saved for another day, but even the most ardent Superman fan will admit that he can occasionally get a little tired. Well, Wolverine's about a hundred times more tired than Superman will ever be.

My problem with Wolverine is as follows:

Wolverine is an uninteresting, bland character who exists solely to sell issues of comic books and do 'awesome' stuff.

Wolverine exists to exemplify the worst things about comic books. Let's discuss why.

What powers does Wolverine have? Well, he's invulnerable. His healing power has been written, retconned and rerolled to the point of ridiculousness. A few years ago there was a Wolverine story arc in which he was destroyed down to a single scrap of skin (literally, just a flap of skin), which he then regenerated from and came back to keep fighting. The idea that any force in the galaxy poses a threat to him is unlikely at best and ridiculous at worst. According to continuity, if even a tiny fragment of Wolverine were to exist in any way, he could regenerate to full health. Why are we even pretending that he's not completely invincible? Sure, he can get knocked down, and some writers have made it so he takes some time to recover to full health. Where's the thrill in that? No matter how grim circumstances get, Wolverine will always, ALWAYS heal back up. There's no mystery, no tension and no suspense.

Add on to this that he has quite possibly one of the most ridiculous powers written, namely, the claws in his hands. Leave your computer, go to your kitchen and take three butter knives out of the drawer. Now get some tape and tape them to the back of your hands. Taa daa, you're Wolverine! Now work on being immortal.

Fact of the matter is, Wolverine stabs stuff. He gets hurt. He stabs stuff some more. He gets hurt. He slices stuff, something dies, he heals all the way and smokes a cigarette or something. He's a one trick pony at best.

Compounding this is the most uninteresting writing ever done for a comic book character. For as long as I can remember, Wolverine has been the character that writers throw stuff at for the expressed purpose of seeing what sticks. But they don't throw just any old stuff, no. They only throw the most XTREEEEME stuff at Wolverine. The kids these days are into moody western gunslingers? Oh shoot, Wolverine's like a gritty cowboy type! Japan and ninjas and stuff are totally in? Didn't you know that Wolverine was such a brave warrior that samurais invited him to train with them and stuff! History buff? Betcha didn't know Wolverine was in WW2! And in WW1! Continuity's got you all bogged down? Well, due to some emotional trauma and stuff, Wolverine gets amnesia and doesn't remember his gritty and dark past! Off hand, I count the number of times Wolverine has gotten amnesia at like six or seven. But that's OK, it just allows writers to write more AWESOME stuff without any encumbrances like history until it's convenient to bring it back.

(The superhero equivalent of a MySpace picture)

To top it off, the 'do whatever is cool' doesn't stop at his history. It's all about his character. Cyclops is the leader of the X-Men? Wolverine hates him because Wolverine doesn't do authority. Take THAT, mom and dad! Someone needs Wolverine's help? Sorry, but he's a lone wolf who plays by his own rules. Forget the twelve (on average) comic book covers he's on every month. He's too busy brooding alone, or drinking beer and playing poker, or hitting on women. When Hugh Jackman flipped someone off in the X-Men movie using Wolverine's claws, fans cheered as it was a 'total Wolverine thing to do'. Yeah man, SCREW YOU! He, like, has sideburns! And flips people off! He's like The Fonz, but with today's hip youth sensibility!

It's as if Rob Liefeld's drawings became a life mantra (although at least Liefeld gave us Deadpool). Wolverine is calculated to be the most gruff, anti-authority, 'tough but sensitive troubled loner with a past' that could ever exist. Even when he's written well, he's still the 'tough guy' who does what he wants. He's like Axl Rose, still playing the same songs to the same group of fans who won't admit that the whole thing's a little stale.

Worst of all, he's held up as the figurehead of why comics are cool. He's what nerds imagine the cool kids are like when nobody's around, pumped up to the power of ten. He's an awful, totally two-dimensional character with very few redeeming qualities, but he's still held up as why comics are awesome. Alongside this guy, he's Marvel's #1 money maker, so he probably won't go anywhere any time soon. But please, future writers of America, do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to make Wolverine fresh. Give him a sex change, make him sustain a head injury that makes him a cheerful optimist, do SOMETHING!

Until then, scores of better heroes will play second fiddle to Wolverine. Just as well; as long as they're behind him in line they won't get hit when he does a triple backflip off his motorcycle while on fire and listening to the rock music.

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I have nothing to say about this. Other than that it's awesome.

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Alright, almost anyone who knows me knows I'm a fan of the supernatural. The paranormal. The bizarre and strange.

I like to dabble in stuff like ghosts. It's harmless fun, right?

Well, I think I found a ghost video that's a little less than harmless. It's eerie, and down-right terrifying. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, this is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Please, if these things bother you, don't watch.

Out of sensitivity, I'd ask that you watch the video before you read any of the comments below it. When I first found the video there were some pretty offensive things being said, so skip the comments and just watch. I'd embed the video here, but I don't think it's appropriate to show where anyone could see even glimpses of it.

Ghost Footage

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So with that, it's done!

What started off as a cheap ploy to get me to update my blog more often (I think it worked?) turned into a year long experiment in how lazy I could be in taking a picture of myself. And the answer was very lazy.

I'd like to thank you, anonymous person from the internets, for being here for the journey. It's been just over a year now, and if you're still here, either I occasionally have something funny to say or you have an odd sense of guilt. Either way, I win!

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So my hatred of driving to Wendover has been documented on here before. For those of you who don't want to read the back articles (and really, who does), here's a summary.

(Stare at this picture for two hours straight, occasionally mumbling about needing to pee)

That's all public record. I wasn't even going to blog about this, beyond a brief mention that I played Blackjack for like four hours on $20 before losing it and going home. Wasn't even worth the mention.

Except.


The young lass in the green dress, front and center in the picture? Not a girl. Guy dressed up as a girl. Whatever, it really couldn't matter any less to me. Except for one thing...



That dude had one of the hairiest butt cracks I have ever seen, ever, even in High School locker rooms back in the day. My camera didn't capture it, and for this, you should feel blessed.

I mean, he wasn't even trying to hide it. He had shaved his arms and legs, done himself up really well... but had forgotten the butt cheeks. Both of them poked out through the top of the low-cut dress every time he moved, and flashed thick, patchy hair. When he sat down, his butt cheek hair rubbed up against the seats. I'm getting nauseous thinking about it.

Look, I don't care what you do. It really doesn't affect me. But please, PLEASE, if you're a dude doing transgender or gender experimentation, PLEASE shave your butt cheeks. Pretty please. Other people have to sit on those chairs, and don't want to have to share where your hairy, bare butt has just touched.

Eew.

Eew eew eew.

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From the strange video game inspired minds of Mega 64 comes the real life display of some renegade rhythm. Dressed as Elite Beat Agents, and armed with a generic but catchy song about absolutely nothing, can these three heroes of the dance floor save the day?

Don't count on it.

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So, as a couple of you know, I've got an upcoming (i.e. late April) trip to California planned to meet with a professor who advised on my senior project and who could be involved in publication should the article be submitted to a journal.

Well, turns out my one man trek of academic minutiae is quickly turning into a family affair.

Looks like a few members of my family have decided to capitalize on my trip to California by joining me. The new tentative plan is that I'll meet with the professor on that Monday (or Tuesday, should something come up) and then join the rest of my family on a miniature impromptu trip to Disneyland to celebrate my graduation from college. This is, of course, assuming that the prof doesn't eat my skin and flay me alive. But heck, it'll be nice to counter some boring scholarly stuff with a little fun for once!

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So whilst following a link from a friend on a message board, I accidentally stumbled on the wrong Twitter page and found probably the saddest thing ever.

Aww. I really wanna give this girl a hug.

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So, most historic of events, the Austang just rolled over 20,000 miles!

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Just because Richard didn't believe me when I said this existed.

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So you know what's terrible? Moving furniture and boxes all night, eating late, not sleeping because you ate too late and rolling out of bed around seven to find that your shoulder hurts wicked bad.

Sundays are awful. They're easily the worst day of the week, second only to Mondays. The fact that the two are back to back is an insidious plot to make me hate stuff.

It's a good thing that the House/Secret Life block is on Mondays, or I'd have no reason to go on whatsoever.

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So earlier this week my friend Chad (who is, for the record, neither crazy nor creepy and lonely) told me that he and his wife had received a direct mail piece for resin dragons playing poker whimsically. I thought for sure it was an improbable and poorly thought out lie. I mean, seriously, a series of collectible dragons playing poker? Who does this appeal to?

(I dislike two of these things, and pity the third. Can you guess which is which?)

But it turns out, even lonely recluses need collectibles (to collect dust on their shelves, naturally). So let me proudly introduce you to 'Poker Dragons Hold 'Em or Fold 'Em'!

(Clear your cache after viewing this image, in case you have loved ones who care about your sanity.)

Brought to you by The Hamilton Collection, who are world renowned culture vultures known for their exceeding good taste, these resin dragons (did I mention earlier how much I hate dragons) are sure to class up your dorm room, mother's basement or rundown shack somewhere in the woods. But let Hamilton describe their product better:

The fearsome fellas in this poker-playing dragon figurine collection are aggressive card sharks who guard their treasures with strategy, skill, and, of course, a little luck! And whether they're razing a kingdom or raising the ante, you don't want to be left out of the action! This high-stakes game starts off with Issue One, Holdin' Harry. But before long the gang is gonna need a place to play, so next comes Issue Two, the felt-topped poker table. Soon, Lady Luck will be smiling on your collection as three additional collectible poker-playing dragon figurines arrive, each a separate issue to follow.

To be fair, they were right. Those dragons are indeed fearsome, and are indeed playing poker. For an easy $19.99, paid in five easy installments, they can be all yours! Awe your friends and your family of feral cats!

But really, who am I to judge. After all, it's not like I don't own some embarrassing things myself. I think my objection with the collection is that it's simply not accurate enough. I mean, I don't know much about dragons, but I assume playing poker with them wouldn't be as whimsical as presented here.

(I drew this while unshowered, sitting in my underwear, at 2 PM on a Saturday.)

I guess my question is, why stop here? Is there really a market for statues of imaginary creatures playing games?

If so, I have a few suggestions of my own.

• Chutes And Ladders And Bigfoot
• The Loch Ness Monster Swim Club
• Yetis On The Beach
  
• Gypsies Bowling
  

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In case you hadn't noticed, I've been working on a Nutshell side project for Skyline High School. As mentioned before, Tim had liked the font work, but wanted to see a different design for the background behind the words. So this is what I came up with.



I wouldn't say it's bad. I'd venture to say that I kinda like it.

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(From 'A Simple Apology')

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So this is a brief update to last night's story. This morning I woke up to find that my dear, loving mother had sketched out an idea for a version of the logo. There's some merit there, so I promised to look into the concept.

Getting to work, however, I showed both images to Tim (the big boss man) who called me "quite talented" and said he liked the first one better. He wants to keep the typography, and look into exchanging the tool silhouettes for something related to hot rods or muscle cars. He kept saying, however, how he was very happy with both ideas, and how I'm pretty awesome. So I'm going to count that as a minor success.

Austin Hudson -- Brand Management Guru!

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So, I know that I got a nice lil' Strat copy last week. I understand that. But my tax return just came through, and there's only one thing a good American can do. And that's feed his wicked habit. Could be worse, my habit could be crack, right?



Look, here's the thing. I've spent the last four years slaving as a college student. You know the drill, no money, 12-16 hour work days, all that jazz. So now I'm a 9 to 5 stiff, finally have some spending money after student loans/insurance and gas/food/savings, etc.

So what's a guy to do? Spend some of it recklessly on things that make him wicked happy! Maybe being a workin' stiff isn't so bad after all!

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So Tim tasked me at work to 'gussy up' the Skyline High School car club's logo. My rig at work's not quite set up for graphic design (as in, not at all), so I took this project home. Since I had free reign, my first response was to aim for something retro-ish. Thus, I tried something a little classier looking than what they previously had.



Or, channeling the old Signal Oil logo...


Item of note, that's allegedly a rim in the middle of that logo there. I didn't want to spend another thirty minutes working on a detailed rim if they weren't interested in pursuing that idea, so that's a placeholder rim. I could have done better. I just didn't want to. Yeah...

So I didn't really get any guidance beyond 'Just make a logo for a car club', so I'm not sure if it's good or not. These are initial concepts, but I think they're pretty OK maybe?

Who knows.

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So 33rd South is like the best street in the world for seeing ridiculous cars. First the Comic Sans TURBO, and now...

Now a little number I call The Virgin Mary Truck. I obscured a lot of the picture with numbers, but that's so I can point out all the fine details on this 'modified' F150.

(Apologies, it's hard to get great pictures when you're driving)

1. Giant after-market fin. The lights don't light up, so apparently they never actually hooked it up. It's just there for... uh... why is it there?

2. Flames. Vinyl flames are a common recurring trend on 'awesome' cars.

3. Lift kit and non-existent shocks. This truck bounces around so much that you'd think it was on hydraulics. It's not.

4. Giant cattle grill. What's on the front, I wondered? A rose. Yes, a rose.

5. This was the detail I was most excited about and you can't even see it in the pictures. All of the back window trim has been Bedazzled. I don't know how, but it's covered in glittering rhinestones. YES!

6. This was supposed to be on the back window near the gigantic vinyl sticker of the Virgin Mary crying.

7. And one more smaller fin mounted on top of the cab. Why? Who knows. Speed? Probably not.

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Now, there are few things as insipid as Comic Sans. Anyone with even the most basic knowledge of fonts and typography can recognize Comic Sans; it's the font that 40 year old women use to type up posters, letters and signs in order to make them, like, totally kid-friendly and cartoony and cuuuuuuuute! ^_^

In actuality, Comic Sans is an awful font. It's widespread, overused, misused and totally abused. The existence of Comic Sans has become sort of a running joke among anyone who actually works with fonts, and there are even groups dedicated to eradicating Comic Sans from the face of the planet.

So when Comic Sans make a very public appearance, it's worth mentioning.

In this case, it made an appearance on the back of a Jetta. A regular, old, stock Jetta. But instead of being done tastefully (can you do Comic Sans tastefully?), it was done in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Behold -- Comic Sans TURBO!



Assisting in the equally insipid practice of taking regular cars and making them simply too fast and too furious, this guy decided to take the easy route. Who needs aftermarket pieces and mods! All it takes is some vinyl decals and bam, your car is 100x faster than before!

Combine that with the raw hauling power of Comic Sans, and you have the most awkward car I've seen in a long time.

Also worth mentioning is that the driver, who I assume is the 'Tony' mentioned on the rear of the car, has gigantic 80's Poison hair.

Pretty sweet?

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So I was browsing the internets today when I came upon a startling discovery.

Hey, look everyone, it's that elf who sits next to Aragorn the first Lord of the Rings movie.



Wait, why does he...?



Oh snap!

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Another kickin' awesome new guitar to add to the ever growing collection.

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So four years ago Richard and I had a discussion about missing socks and determined that there was some sort of Sock Goblin in each person's home. Since none of our socks had gone missing recently, we assumed the Sock Goblin had died, and resolved to put up tiny memorial pictures around the Westminster campus. Using $1, we photocopied about 200 of these and stuck them everywhere.

Well, four years later, look what I found stuck on my Uncle Mike's fridge. I think it is the last one in existence, and I have no idea how it got there.

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So you know what I thought was awesome?





'Watchmen' was awesome. IMAX might be the best thing in the world.

My thoughts are pretty simple: for an unfilmable story, they filmed it pretty well. If we can just get over all the himming and hawing and appreciate the movie for what it is (a tribute to the novel rather than a direct adaption), we can all agree the movie was AMAZING.

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