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First Impressions: James Bond and 'Diamonds Are Forever'
Posted by Austin
on
4:52 PM
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movies
One of the most treasured gifts is introducing the younger generation to culture that was before their time. To this extent, I've decided to start torturing young Andre, age nine, with some old person culture. First up is an introduction to the world of James Bond and spy movies. I almost went with the traditional 'Goldfinger', but that may be TOO good for a first look. I needed something goofy. Something 'Diamonds Are Forever'-y.
'Diamonds Are Forever' is the seventh James Bond movie, made in 1971 and featuring Sean Connery. The movie sees Bond infiltrating a smuggling ring, which in turn exposes his old enemy Blofeld in a plot to make a giant laser satellite which will hold the world hostage. The movie also features two gay assassins, named Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, as well as a Moon Rover chase across the Las Vegas desert. What more could you want?
Below, in chronological order, are Andre's observations upon viewing the movie for the first time.
Upon seeing a cat's eye dissolve into the opening credits: What the heck?
Still viewing the credits: Hey look, there's that cat! Is this movie about that cat, and that cat doing stuff?
Listening to the title theme: Forever, evuh, evuh, evuh. *remixing noise*
Still viewing the credits: I thought you said this wasn't about that cat. Why is there a cat if there isn't a cat in it?
Having explained that it's the villains cat: Does the cat do stuff? Like crawl through stuff like ladies legs and stuff? Like it just did?
Upon the introduction of the plot: There's a lot of talking in this movie. I'm bored. Can we just watch the cool parts?
So we did. Lesson learned: kids don't like complex plots about diamond smuggling and international intrigue. We'll have to try again another time with a different movie.
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'Diamonds Are Forever' is the seventh James Bond movie, made in 1971 and featuring Sean Connery. The movie sees Bond infiltrating a smuggling ring, which in turn exposes his old enemy Blofeld in a plot to make a giant laser satellite which will hold the world hostage. The movie also features two gay assassins, named Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, as well as a Moon Rover chase across the Las Vegas desert. What more could you want?
Below, in chronological order, are Andre's observations upon viewing the movie for the first time.
Upon seeing a cat's eye dissolve into the opening credits: What the heck?
Still viewing the credits: Hey look, there's that cat! Is this movie about that cat, and that cat doing stuff?
Listening to the title theme: Forever, evuh, evuh, evuh. *remixing noise*
Still viewing the credits: I thought you said this wasn't about that cat. Why is there a cat if there isn't a cat in it?
Having explained that it's the villains cat: Does the cat do stuff? Like crawl through stuff like ladies legs and stuff? Like it just did?
Upon the introduction of the plot: There's a lot of talking in this movie. I'm bored. Can we just watch the cool parts?
So we did. Lesson learned: kids don't like complex plots about diamond smuggling and international intrigue. We'll have to try again another time with a different movie.
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