1
Selleck Never Had This Problem
Posted by Austin
on
10:14 AM
in
crap
Some of you may be familiar with my erstwhile business, The Mustache Emporium. It was a grand idea whose time almost came, and then never did (mainly because I've been moving around like a crazy person for the last year or so).
So a couple months ago, I received a letter from the state telling me I needed to file taxes for the business. That's an easy one, I thought; I never made a sale (and instead ended up giving away a whole bunch of my stock) and didn't ever do anything business-y with it. So I replied to their form letter, let them know my business had been long closed, and that we never even made a sale. And all was well in the animal kingdom.
Until yesterday.
I got home yesterday evening nursing a semi-painful headache. But the headache was just beginning, unfortunately. Turns out the government doesn't believe me. Not only do they not think that I shut down the business (you guys can check, the website's even gone), but they've gone ahead and estimated my business's worth, and how much I should owe them in back taxes.
According to the State of Utah, The Mustache Emporium, a business that I literally ran out of my bedroom and a single drawer in my desk, made something like $112,000 last year.
Uhhhh huh.
Further, they're pretty sure that since I didn't pay taxes on that imaginary money that never existed, and I should probably cut them a check for $15k.
UHHH HUH.
So I now get to enjoy a potentially long and protracted battle with the state to prove that, yes, I once operated a business selling imported novelty mustaches, but no, I never made any money, and I sure as hell didn't make $112k last year. Believe you me, if I did, this blog would be much better looking and I'd own like a ton more wicked awesome stuff and wouldn't have student loans or anything.
I guess what I'm saying here is, look before you leap. Or, rather, don't apply for a business license if you're going to unforseeably close your business within a few months having made no money. The state will flip their shit over that.
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So a couple months ago, I received a letter from the state telling me I needed to file taxes for the business. That's an easy one, I thought; I never made a sale (and instead ended up giving away a whole bunch of my stock) and didn't ever do anything business-y with it. So I replied to their form letter, let them know my business had been long closed, and that we never even made a sale. And all was well in the animal kingdom.
Until yesterday.
I got home yesterday evening nursing a semi-painful headache. But the headache was just beginning, unfortunately. Turns out the government doesn't believe me. Not only do they not think that I shut down the business (you guys can check, the website's even gone), but they've gone ahead and estimated my business's worth, and how much I should owe them in back taxes.
According to the State of Utah, The Mustache Emporium, a business that I literally ran out of my bedroom and a single drawer in my desk, made something like $112,000 last year.
Uhhhh huh.
Further, they're pretty sure that since I didn't pay taxes on that imaginary money that never existed, and I should probably cut them a check for $15k.
UHHH HUH.
So I now get to enjoy a potentially long and protracted battle with the state to prove that, yes, I once operated a business selling imported novelty mustaches, but no, I never made any money, and I sure as hell didn't make $112k last year. Believe you me, if I did, this blog would be much better looking and I'd own like a ton more wicked awesome stuff and wouldn't have student loans or anything.
I guess what I'm saying here is, look before you leap. Or, rather, don't apply for a business license if you're going to unforseeably close your business within a few months having made no money. The state will flip their shit over that.
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